Tag: ace

I am Asexual

Works & Pieces

I am asexual
Generally speaking, this means I don’t experience sexual attraction
I see the feminine body and I feel nothing
I see the masculine body and I feel nothing
Now when I see the body of androgyny, a spark of interest ignites inside of me
But this is not attractions
This is excitement
Excitement in representation
This is because I see myself in that body In a body that abides by no rules
In a body that encompasses everything and nothing all at the same time
This is because I am agender as well
But that’s a story for another poem
I am asexual
But don’t get me wrong I can appreciate beauty
Physical beauty
But I don’t crave it I don’t hunger for it
The way the stereotypical 12-year-old boy hungers for the swimsuit models in the magazines
I don’t feel that
The way a closeted queer person sees their first same-sex celebrity crush on the screens of their televisions and realizes who they really are
I never had that
I didn’t like anyone
I tried to feel something
I tried
I tried
I tried to look at them with the eyes of desire
But I felt nothing
Not attraction
Nothing
It just wasn’t me
I am asexual
But my definition
My experiences
My words are my own
Don’t take them as gospel
They’re far from it.
I am asexual
And for me it means I don’t find people to be physically attractive
For me it means I don’t crave sex or physical intimacy
For me it means that if I’m with my partner I will kiss them
I will hold them
I will show them the highest level of intimacy that I can
But it’s not rooted is physical attraction
Its not rooted in how sexy I think they look in that tight skirt
Its not because that new button up shirt is getting me all hot and bothered
It not because they are so damn thick that I can’t contain myself
It because that how I show them I care
That’s how I show them love
Im asexual
And I can be affectionate
I can have sex
…if I want to
… or I couldn’t not
Whatever I do that’s my business

I See You

Writings

You enter the room
Everyone sees you
From top to bottom
They see you
Your lips
Your chest
Your waist
Your legs
They see you
They want you
They crave you

I see you
I admire you
With my eyes
I take in every inch of your body
From top to bottom
Your lips
Your chest
Your waist
Your legs
I see you
But I don’t want you
I don’t crave you
At least
Not like they do
Not how they want you
Not how they crave you

They see you
They want you
From top to bottom
They want you
They want to taste you
Lick you
Please you
Have you
Have you lips
Your chest
Your waist
Your legs
They want you
All of you

I see you
And I don’t want you
And I don’t crave you
But I wish I did
I wish I could want you like that
I wish I could crave you like that
I want to want you
I crave to crave you
I see what they see
And I want to want that
But I can’t
I cant want
I cant crave
But I wish I could
I wish I could love you the way you know love
A love that want you
A love that craves you
But I cant.

Sexual Performance (updated)

Writings

To other it’s instinct;
It’s natural.
But to me,
It’s a performance:
Right hand down your back,
Left hand up your thigh,
I lick you here,
Kiss you there,
You moan,
Repeat.

After years of practice
I’ve mastered the role;
I am a seasoned sexual performer:
I pull you close,
Part your legs,
Lick you there,
Kiss you here,
You moan,
Repeat.

You almost believe me;
You do believe me.
You melt in my hands,
Begging for more:
More licks,
More kisses,
More passion,
More sex.

But if you look close enough
You’ll see past the illusion.
You’ll see how I hesitate,
How rigid my movements are as I reach for you.

If you look close enough,
And see past the illusion,
You might think I lack a drive.
You might think I have no passion;
No true passion.
That my hesitation and my rigidness are a sign of disinterest;
Disinterested in you,
In your body,
In this moment,
This beautiful moment.

I am a sexual actor
And my movements may seem methodical
Well calculated
Carefully thought out
And they are
I plan my every move
Track your reaction
And formulate a proper response
And though I may not receive pleasure
for the act itself
I get the biggest joy from seeing you
Enjoy the show.